A time to reflect

 We all do it, whether it's in our heads, in a diary, blog, insta, we all reflect. As educators, we do this so often that not doing it seems impossible. 

I know that I constantly ask myself what went right, what worked, what didn't, and what I can change to make it more engaging for my learners or push them just that little bit further. No, I don't write it down that often, but I make the changes needed to help that learner.

I remember when in college and they wanted me to reflect by writing it after the lesson. I did that but I also thought, isn't this something that just comes naturally to all teachers? Isn't it something that we do in our own lives, outside of work that makes us better anyway?

So when the appraisal system comes up at the end of the year and I always stress out because I haven't got anything written down, even though I ticked off all of the criteria, I sit and write and write and write, trying to remember every little thing that I had done since term one, because who knows how we have time to write all of those little details down! It comes naturally, to reflect and I know what I am doing and I know that I can tick those boxes because it has been 12 years since I started, and oh how much have I learned! But I still have to tick those boxes.

When Tara suggested that we start a blog, I thought 'great another thing to keep up with' but in reality, when I sat back and looked at what I was doing anyway, it was just another way. 

I keep a diary, beside my bed, and write in it once a week, my well-being Instagram page which I update lots, and now this. 

This is going to take some time and effort to get used to and remember to do each week/day, but I know that I can do it.

This brings me to my reflection on the last couple of weeks, especially my leadership. I thought that I was doing great, standing in for Tara and making some good choices. Then I turned into this person who I didn't like and wasn't kind to people. It was totally horrendous and there was nothing like the stuff I had learned in Dare to Lead, I had turned into someone I didn't want to be. This frustrated me and then I got angry and took it out on some people that I shouldn't have, I need to remember that I can have thoughts but I need to keep them to myself and then their trust remains. How many people's trust did I break with my little breakdown of anger? How can I get that back? It will take time and effort and man I felt terrible. 

I put my feelings first and should have talked about it with Tara rather than with someone else. After the time I reflected, not on paper and not out loud, but I did it, and then I apologised for what I did and said and put the blame onto me. I was being vulnerable at this point and man it made me feel stink. But being vulnerable means that I have courage and I embraced the suck, moved on, and clawed those relationships back.

This week is a new week, we have lots to do and a school to run, learners to learn, and fun to have. 

This week is a new moment to look forward to. 

Word of the year - Balance

 For the last two years,
I have done word of the year. This has helped me to remember some of my motivations for the year.

In 2021 my word was Present, with the kids, staff & family. 

2022 bought the word Balance into my world. As an Enneagram 2, being able to balance all of the aspects of my life and make sure that I am taking care of myself and my family.

I have posted about this on my Instagram page Teacher on the bay - where the name of this blog comes from.

Teacher on the bay

Daring to Lead

 This year was the second year of my leadership journey and oh boy I learned a lot last year. My anxiety had gone through the roof, my leadership skills weren't what I had thought they would be and the amount of stuff that I did and the way that I handled myself and others during difficult times had left me burned out and anxious.

I didn't want to be that person or that leader but I didn't know how to make it mine.

Enter 2022

2022 had begun with the fabulous news that I was in fact part of the senior leadership team, along with M. As much as the excitement of this challenge rose, I was also worried as I didn't know who I would be working with and I wanted to move past last years anxiety and leadership problems.

T, M, and I had a great initial hui around our wee team and T asked us to read Brenè Brown's Daring to Lead. I thought why not through myself into this and get out the most that I can from this year.

I purchased the book both in audio and paper copies so that I could make the most of the reading. And man was I making the most of it. The first few pages into the book and I found my catch phrase for the year...

"Embrace the suck" 

This comes from the following quote...

As I entered the leadership meetings I would place my cards on the table, be honest and most of all let my vulnerability show through.

I have been in many difficult situations this year, and I have remembered the advice from the book. Whether it is being vulnerable, brave, or trustworthy, it all sits with me and makes me a better leader, teacher, and family person. 

So many times when I am talking about a problem, I use the story I am writing in my head...and it helps all of those people around me know that this is what is going on and it might be different for you, but I am open to hearing what you have to say and even if I don't agree, I am willing to let you have your say.

Since this book, I have picked other books by Brenè Brown and am working on myself more. Putting in boundaries and balancing my work/life relationship. 

Structured Literacy Journey 2021

 Link to my Structured Literacy Site

Bex's reflection on the Structured Literacy journey

I was at a stage in my teaching where I knew that that was possibly more that I could do for the struggling readers/writers, but I wasn't sure where to start. I began my journey with Structured Literacy when a couple of friends started talking about it. This interested me, and I made sure that I researched and read the Science of Reading. I then looked at lots of different research and resources that Sara and Nelly had shared with me, but my mind was spinning.

I then discussed with Tara about structured literacy and her thoughts around it, and where I wanted to go. At the beginning of my pathway, I needed to search around for some stops to help my learning. I was very interested in Liz Kane, but her Dunedin and the South Island workshops were full, so I went to Ideal and Carla McNeill. I noted that she had a workshop running and signed up.

That day was very overwhelming, but it made sense to make a change to my literacy program. We signed up for the iDeal platform, and I started to explore that. It was a very intense website and took lots of time away from school to work out. I decided that I needed to see Structured Literacy in action and had done more reading and research around Liz Kane; I also purchased the code and had a look at that, but I still needed to see it in action. I chose four children in year two that I thought would benefit from Structured Literacy. I talked to their parents in that group and told them what I was planning and that I was in the learning phase and would like their buy-in to move forward. I assessed them and knew what they needed but didn't know where to start...Hence why we visited Grants Braes.

Mikaela and I talked, and we decided that a trip to Grants Braes saw it in action. We organized it and spent the morning going over the school to observe the teachers at the different levels; we saw the Haggerty and PA in action. Then we saw the code in action. I took this back to school and implemented the Code and LLLL assessment to see what I needed to do with my intervention group. We focused on sounds with handwriting, to begin with, and then moved to words. Sounds - words then moved back and forward a few times until they had secured their first sounds. I only sent one book home a week and it was that we had practiced for the week. I was mucking my way through and I was seeing progress. Slow and steady, learning as I went and the kids were having success and I was seeing it coming into the classroom.

At this stage, I also recognized that the Totara group also would benefit from some spelling lessons. I tested their spelling and saw that they needed to move back to year one of the Code. From here I taught them the spelling rules that they were missing and also introduced them to the iDeal platform for learning spelling rules. I began to see results in their writing and spelling. This also helped their reading and the difference in their confidence was visible too.

Around this time I noticed that my intervention group of children was gaining confidence and ability. Their writing in the class had shot off and the boy who would sit and cry in the corner was now eager to write and would write any change that he got, this was a massive improvement for him and made me very confident with the program that we had created.

Towards the end of Term 3, the difference in the groups that I was taking for spelling and structured literacy was foraminal and this showed in their end-of-year results, it was enough for me to think about rolling it out across our junior team. So, with what little resources we had, we took the term 3 holidays to roll it out, group the children and start with a structured literacy program. My fellow teacher was enthusiastic about it and was beginning to get some of her own resources and the teacher in the NE room loved the structure and saw improvements with her kids immediately. It was a success and we had parents on board, which always make such a difference.

Early in Term 4 Mikaela and I held a Structured literacy workshop for parents, where we unpacked what we had learned from the last year and why we wanted to roll it out. We had such a great take up with the idea from all of the parents that came.

At the end of the year when I came to test the children, we used the PM+ Running Records for my intervention group and they had all made accelerated progress with seeing them 20 mins a day, 4 days a week. It was empowering, as this worked for everyone and also gave such a good base.

The BOT was happy with the results and we got approval to roll it out across the school in 2022.