Roots of Behaviour

 Roots of Behaviour - Thinking Brain & Relationships

Readings/Books:

- Oliver Sacks - The man who mistook his wife for his hat.

- Temple Grandin

- Olga Bogdashnina

- Bruce Perry - Body keeps the score

All behaviour is communication - but what is that communication?

What is happening for our kids? What is happening within our bodies for our kids? How does heart rate collate with their behaviour?

 

What is going on below the surface for the children? What does that look like?

Healthy attachment is only 60% of the time. 

There are two critical responses - rah mode (heightened state) and shut down mode or preoccupied.

Insecure attachment - creating imaginary friends, talking to themselves, etc. 

Calm

Alert

Alarm - some kids come into school here and have an addictive component, ie sugar/gaming

Fear

Terror

These five states determine our thoughts, feelings and experiences. Kids with trauma are attracted to one another, and they are in the alarm state often. 

"you don't get sad unless you have joy first."

Boundaries are about keeping what is essential in.

To get deep sleep to get the rest our bodies need before midnight. No screens 2 hours before bed.

If you are in a power struggle, then the adults need to drop the rope, and then you need to reconnect with the child.  

Only do the restorative practice with both sides involved. 

Need to search out where they are on the Bruce Perry continuum.

If they do something in a pattern, they try to regulate the brain. 

The need to control is connected to the Alarm state of the brain.

What can escalation look like?

We only talk at people when we haven't been heard before. 

You can't work harder on your problem than you work on it.

Talk to the kids quietly and within arms reach. 

Needs to build a connection and relationship with those that need it. You need to develop those roots with "I am..." statements. Organizing the brains for learning, then we use evidence; for example, you are a reader, we are readers. 

Draw the brain up for young people and then draw some roots and start with the positive experiences. 

Heart Rate

A successful child who is ready to connect would be around 100 bpm. 

It's not a program that makes a difference; it's the people that make a difference. 

Heart rate is one piece of the puzzle. 

You need to give language to the thing that they are feeling. 

The biggest threat is relationships, but the biggest way we develop is relationships.

The brain is so different when it comes to Autism that it needs to have a learned script. Practice these in a calm space, but then, with repetitive practice, it becomes natural. 

Are we a leader or a follower?

What do my learners need?

Cuddle buddies - weighted toys

What do I want her to tell herself when she wants to call out.

This Roots of Behaviour course is so worthwhile. It talked about all of the kids that you see, not just the Neuro-Diverse, trauma, or behaviour problems; it's about the ones that seem to be coping but, deep down, might not be. They are the ones that we have to look at and after so that they also have success.