Moving sides

 Well, what a year. 

This year I started with NE - Year 2 and was quick to realise that as cute as these buttons are I preferred to be with Year 2 and above.

I enjoyed the challenge of being with NE again and found that all that I have learned over the last 5 years was useful and I could put a few of these perspectives into pla
ce. I also discovered that it was hard to work in a classroom with another teacher and a lot of needs.

There were many times that I thought I wasn't good enough, or that I flipped my own lid(holding it inside though) when the times got tough and many times where all I felt like was an over priced teacher aide, who didn't have a voice or the autonomy to make decisions like a good team leader should. As much as I worked on the relationships first, then worked on listening and being a leader who walks to journey with you, it felt like every time we were getting to a good place, something happened and it would crumble. 

I tried my very hardest to make things work and to listening and change and listen some more. But alas it wasn't quite what it should have been. 

I think that by the end of Term 2, we had got to a place where I would listen and they would talk. I could only do that and agree, sometimes trying to put my 2 cents in where I could. Don't get me wrong, I learned a lot about myself, others and most of all how to listen and respond in a way that would awhi them. We had got to a place that it kind of worked. 

I felt so much for my student teacher at the time, when she was suppose to be on control she wasn't and she too wore the brunt of stuff that wasn't her fault. Again I listened and supported the best I could and awhi her along on her teaching journey. 

Before the end of the term there was a decision made around some year 2's that needed to be moved over and I was happy to help them with this transition...meanwhile being excited for my trip to Rarotonga. The end of the term was a rush of moving and planning and transiting, but it was exciting and new and scary all in the same way. Then I was off for two weeks in the sun...

When we returned there was a quick catch up on the Sunday around what the week would look like and that Monday we would play by air.

Monday came and so did my overwhelming sense of "oh shit, what have I done and why?". 

I spent Monday crying with no sense of belonging and going through those motions of not being needed, no place to put my stuff, not feeling welcome and worse of all, no knowing what I was doing. But by the afternoon, I was feeling like I knew what was happening. 

It took for me to open up to how I was feeling, getting those around me to help and know my place. It was such a massive thing for me to go through and I really talked and collaborated with my new team.

As the weeks have gone on the more I have felt part of the new team and I feel like my opinion is valued and taken on board. The team leader has done well with the team to make sure that everyone has a voice. We have bonded and the tamariki are making progress and it's the best feeling. 

I have such an amazing new team and I love being part of it. No we don't always agree but we talk, together, and listen to each others view and work around the issues to make it work. 

It's been a year of learning and I have taken on a role that was new to me. I have made huge progress myself with the way that I think, work and communicate and it has lead me down a new path.

The learning and leading that I have been undertaking has been huge and it has taught me so many things about people and who I am as a leader. It has also taught me that no matter how hard I try to do the right thing, or fix something, sometimes I can't and it's not mine to fix, change or do. Those people have to make that journey themselves. 

Powerful Play

 Learning through play has been a big journey for me in my role as a junior teacher. It started in 2016 and now we are 2022, I am still learning and reflecting on my learning through play practice.

This journey has not been without its learning pit moments and I have always come out with more learning than I went in with. This year it has been no different. 

I started this year in the New Entrant - Year 2 room with a new colleague who had done different training to myself. We had to spend a lot of time talking and problem solving to get to the right place, but I felt that we were there before I moved over.

She taught me new practices and answered a lot of questions that I had around what types of play there were and how we recorded what we had covered. The kaiako taught me about these different types of play:

- Sensory play

- Literacy play

- Numeracy play

- Science and Nature play

- Collage (art)

- Construction

- Dramatic play

- Reading Area

From my first training I understood schema's and what they children want to do, but never really understood how to plan this correctly and make sense of the areas. I instead tried to lump them under the NZC, to which they never quite fit. Also I always separated these things in their own activity.

This was a turning point in my thinking and my teaching of Play. It made me really stop and think...do I really make these things readily available to my tamariki and how can I change it to make it better? The answer was to shift my planning and making more time to represent these ideas and set up the play in a way that is interesting and draws the children to it.

My next steps on my journey are to take what I have learned and help my new colleague to understand the true meaning of play, the different areas and make an environment that draws that tamariki into their learning without them knowing. To enhance the literacy and numeracy skills of the tamariki through play and have engaging, interesting activities that are open ended.

I am looking forward to taking my learning further and to take those tamariki with me on my journey.

Tilting the Seesaw

 I have made a huge shift in my thinking and knowledge about Neuro-diverse children in the last few years. This started when we got our new principal and I had an experience with one in 2021 that really changed my thinking, and I had to dig deep inside myself to understand or try to understand what they needed from me and the environment around them. It wasn't about their learning or their grades, it was about being happy to come to school and staying the day, then trying to bounce in and out of some learning. It was a massive shift and hard but so worth it for the team that I was with and that child.

Fast forward to 2022, and I have a many needs class. I knew last year that I would have one child that needed me to challenge my thinking and learn more about ASD so here I am.

I have learned so much from my fellow teacher, who has years of experience with Neuro-diverse children and is willing to share her knowledge with me. I have a fantastic principal that also has years of experience and is willing to share with me. Yesterday and today I am at a PD session called Tilting the Seesaw, which helps you understand from the child's point of view and it is done with the team that surrounds the child. We are there for them, not all the children, but for that one child and yesterday was all about understanding what it was like for an Autist. I went away wowed and understanding so much more and with a list of things that I could do to help, not just that child but all of the neuro-diverse children.

One thing that has become so apparent over the last few years, and it's that the heart of the child is the parent who just wants their child to grow up and be a part of the world, whether that is to attend school and have a good experience or go on a family holiday or even as simple as having brunch at a cafe. 

You as the teacher have the opportunity to help these families make more sense of their journey. You have to be open to the fact that you are more than a teacher in a classroom for tamariki. You have the chance to change to the worlds of families. What works for autism often works for others. Let's change the environment to help all the children in our care.

A time to reflect

 We all do it, whether it's in our heads, in a diary, blog, insta, we all reflect. As educators, we do this so often that not doing it seems impossible. 

I know that I constantly ask myself what went right, what worked, what didn't, and what I can change to make it more engaging for my learners or push them just that little bit further. No, I don't write it down that often, but I make the changes needed to help that learner.

I remember when in college and they wanted me to reflect by writing it after the lesson. I did that but I also thought, isn't this something that just comes naturally to all teachers? Isn't it something that we do in our own lives, outside of work that makes us better anyway?

So when the appraisal system comes up at the end of the year and I always stress out because I haven't got anything written down, even though I ticked off all of the criteria, I sit and write and write and write, trying to remember every little thing that I had done since term one, because who knows how we have time to write all of those little details down! It comes naturally, to reflect and I know what I am doing and I know that I can tick those boxes because it has been 12 years since I started, and oh how much have I learned! But I still have to tick those boxes.

When Tara suggested that we start a blog, I thought 'great another thing to keep up with' but in reality, when I sat back and looked at what I was doing anyway, it was just another way. 

I keep a diary, beside my bed, and write in it once a week, my well-being Instagram page which I update lots, and now this. 

This is going to take some time and effort to get used to and remember to do each week/day, but I know that I can do it.

This brings me to my reflection on the last couple of weeks, especially my leadership. I thought that I was doing great, standing in for Tara and making some good choices. Then I turned into this person who I didn't like and wasn't kind to people. It was totally horrendous and there was nothing like the stuff I had learned in Dare to Lead, I had turned into someone I didn't want to be. This frustrated me and then I got angry and took it out on some people that I shouldn't have, I need to remember that I can have thoughts but I need to keep them to myself and then their trust remains. How many people's trust did I break with my little breakdown of anger? How can I get that back? It will take time and effort and man I felt terrible. 

I put my feelings first and should have talked about it with Tara rather than with someone else. After the time I reflected, not on paper and not out loud, but I did it, and then I apologised for what I did and said and put the blame onto me. I was being vulnerable at this point and man it made me feel stink. But being vulnerable means that I have courage and I embraced the suck, moved on, and clawed those relationships back.

This week is a new week, we have lots to do and a school to run, learners to learn, and fun to have. 

This week is a new moment to look forward to. 

Word of the year - Balance

 For the last two years,
I have done word of the year. This has helped me to remember some of my motivations for the year.

In 2021 my word was Present, with the kids, staff & family. 

2022 bought the word Balance into my world. As an Enneagram 2, being able to balance all of the aspects of my life and make sure that I am taking care of myself and my family.

I have posted about this on my Instagram page Teacher on the bay - where the name of this blog comes from.

Teacher on the bay

Daring to Lead

 This year was the second year of my leadership journey and oh boy I learned a lot last year. My anxiety had gone through the roof, my leadership skills weren't what I had thought they would be and the amount of stuff that I did and the way that I handled myself and others during difficult times had left me burned out and anxious.

I didn't want to be that person or that leader but I didn't know how to make it mine.

Enter 2022

2022 had begun with the fabulous news that I was in fact part of the senior leadership team, along with M. As much as the excitement of this challenge rose, I was also worried as I didn't know who I would be working with and I wanted to move past last years anxiety and leadership problems.

T, M, and I had a great initial hui around our wee team and T asked us to read Brenè Brown's Daring to Lead. I thought why not through myself into this and get out the most that I can from this year.

I purchased the book both in audio and paper copies so that I could make the most of the reading. And man was I making the most of it. The first few pages into the book and I found my catch phrase for the year...

"Embrace the suck" 

This comes from the following quote...

As I entered the leadership meetings I would place my cards on the table, be honest and most of all let my vulnerability show through.

I have been in many difficult situations this year, and I have remembered the advice from the book. Whether it is being vulnerable, brave, or trustworthy, it all sits with me and makes me a better leader, teacher, and family person. 

So many times when I am talking about a problem, I use the story I am writing in my head...and it helps all of those people around me know that this is what is going on and it might be different for you, but I am open to hearing what you have to say and even if I don't agree, I am willing to let you have your say.

Since this book, I have picked other books by Brenè Brown and am working on myself more. Putting in boundaries and balancing my work/life relationship. 

Structured Literacy Journey 2021

 Link to my Structured Literacy Site

Bex's reflection on the Structured Literacy journey

I was at a stage in my teaching where I knew that that was possibly more that I could do for the struggling readers/writers, but I wasn't sure where to start. I began my journey with Structured Literacy when a couple of friends started talking about it. This interested me, and I made sure that I researched and read the Science of Reading. I then looked at lots of different research and resources that Sara and Nelly had shared with me, but my mind was spinning.

I then discussed with Tara about structured literacy and her thoughts around it, and where I wanted to go. At the beginning of my pathway, I needed to search around for some stops to help my learning. I was very interested in Liz Kane, but her Dunedin and the South Island workshops were full, so I went to Ideal and Carla McNeill. I noted that she had a workshop running and signed up.

That day was very overwhelming, but it made sense to make a change to my literacy program. We signed up for the iDeal platform, and I started to explore that. It was a very intense website and took lots of time away from school to work out. I decided that I needed to see Structured Literacy in action and had done more reading and research around Liz Kane; I also purchased the code and had a look at that, but I still needed to see it in action. I chose four children in year two that I thought would benefit from Structured Literacy. I talked to their parents in that group and told them what I was planning and that I was in the learning phase and would like their buy-in to move forward. I assessed them and knew what they needed but didn't know where to start...Hence why we visited Grants Braes.

Mikaela and I talked, and we decided that a trip to Grants Braes saw it in action. We organized it and spent the morning going over the school to observe the teachers at the different levels; we saw the Haggerty and PA in action. Then we saw the code in action. I took this back to school and implemented the Code and LLLL assessment to see what I needed to do with my intervention group. We focused on sounds with handwriting, to begin with, and then moved to words. Sounds - words then moved back and forward a few times until they had secured their first sounds. I only sent one book home a week and it was that we had practiced for the week. I was mucking my way through and I was seeing progress. Slow and steady, learning as I went and the kids were having success and I was seeing it coming into the classroom.

At this stage, I also recognized that the Totara group also would benefit from some spelling lessons. I tested their spelling and saw that they needed to move back to year one of the Code. From here I taught them the spelling rules that they were missing and also introduced them to the iDeal platform for learning spelling rules. I began to see results in their writing and spelling. This also helped their reading and the difference in their confidence was visible too.

Around this time I noticed that my intervention group of children was gaining confidence and ability. Their writing in the class had shot off and the boy who would sit and cry in the corner was now eager to write and would write any change that he got, this was a massive improvement for him and made me very confident with the program that we had created.

Towards the end of Term 3, the difference in the groups that I was taking for spelling and structured literacy was foraminal and this showed in their end-of-year results, it was enough for me to think about rolling it out across our junior team. So, with what little resources we had, we took the term 3 holidays to roll it out, group the children and start with a structured literacy program. My fellow teacher was enthusiastic about it and was beginning to get some of her own resources and the teacher in the NE room loved the structure and saw improvements with her kids immediately. It was a success and we had parents on board, which always make such a difference.

Early in Term 4 Mikaela and I held a Structured literacy workshop for parents, where we unpacked what we had learned from the last year and why we wanted to roll it out. We had such a great take up with the idea from all of the parents that came.

At the end of the year when I came to test the children, we used the PM+ Running Records for my intervention group and they had all made accelerated progress with seeing them 20 mins a day, 4 days a week. It was empowering, as this worked for everyone and also gave such a good base.

The BOT was happy with the results and we got approval to roll it out across the school in 2022.