Section 1: Exploring Self-Awareness
How do I show up authentically?
Taking of the Armour and showing up authentically - Brené Brown
Am I to self conscious? How can I become more aware of myself?
I need to be honest with others and help them connect with me on a more personal level, I need to be open to being vulnerable, to listen to others to help me understand their points of view.
I need to take off the armour that I have built to be able to show up authenically to my colleagues, so that they can see that I am the same as them.
Do I need to reconsider how others see me? Take the time and let them be honest with me, without advice giving and just to listen.
For me shame makes me feeling triggered, shame has been one of the emtions that throughout my life has led me to put my armour and walls back up, when I thing that I have unintentionally hurt someone, or said something wrong, the shame emotion in me comes out strong, I feel like I didn't do my best or live to my full potential, how can I use this to move through the emotion of shame?
Is courage the willing to show up and been seen, even though we can't control the outcome, can we teach and develop in ourselves or others?
You can teach courage, you can develop it in yourself and others. There are four pillars of courage
- Vulnerability
The willingness to be vulnerable, this is not weakness. Vulnerability is risk, uncertainty, emotional exposure. This opens us up to us being hurt, it's the shame, scarcity, fear, anxiety and uncertainty. It's the armour that you put on each day, I'm not going to let people see me, hurt me. Without Vulnerability there is no love and joy. What is the hardest emotion for humans? Joy.
When things are going really well, am I waiting for something to go wrong.
- Clarity of values
- Trust
- Rising skills - getting back up when we fall and when we experience set backs and failures.
If you are brave enough often enough then you will fall. If you are brave then you are going to get hurt.
Shame is happening all around us.
Taking the armour off
The armour keeps be present, keeps us emotionally safe.
What does this mean for my leadership? How to I show up to school authentically?
My armour goes up, I think that I must be the knower of all things, be able to take on any task and help others around me. I feel like I must be that person that everyone wants me to be and be perfect each and every time that I am in that environment. I must not faulter or be seen as weak, because those around me are relying on me to perform that tasks that I need to do, be that person who can solve all the issues, but also be that support person for them. The one that listens to their war stories, helps them through the day, keep them strong in who they are. I must be the one that does not faulter, the stable one who knows how to answer all the questions that they have, the one that can't take a sick day or time for myself, because I am the rock, the unwavering person, who can help all those around them, even at the detriment of my own well-being.
When I have to take my armour off and show up authentically, I will be able to make mistakes, admit that I am wrong, that I don't know the answers. I have to let people see that I am not perfect, that I do make mistakes and that I am real.
I want to be a leader who walks alongside the team, allowing them to share their thoughts, ideas and strategies, so create a positive environment so that they can talk to me, without me getting defensive, I want to be open to the feedback, weather good or critical, take it in, and make the changes that I need to make. I want people to know that they can come to me if they have a problem, with something or with me, to be able share in a safe way. I want to show them that I am vulnerable and that I am letting my armour come off, even if it makes me feel shame. I can raise again so that I can be brave and courageous the next time I fall or fail.
Section 2: Developing Emotional Intelligence
You need to develop your social-emotional learning as a school leader and practice incorporating emotions and how to coach others to help sustain the field of education.
Adults who are happy going to work means a more productive environment for the kids.
It is a critical skill for leaders to thrive in their work. It has positive effects on the entire school.
EI - is being smart about your feelings. So using your thinking to inform your feelings, using your feelings to inform your thinking, and all the while keeping in mind where you're going with it. When you can name then and ID them then you are in control of them.
You need to be aware of the impact that you are having on others when they walk in the door in the morning. How do they manage their emotions, become aware that you are having emotions that you need to manage in the first place. It's the small moments and the big moments.
If you aren't aware or working on your own emtions, how are you going to be able to deal with those of others? How are you going to make the appropriate decisions, ones that come from a deep place of swelf-awareness, being present and attuned to others around you.
What are the emotions that leaders invite themselves to have by just walking into that position? Sometimes we are dealing with so much, and your emotions maybe more intense. There is never a time where leaders are not dealing with some sort of emotion, because we aren't seeing what they are dealing with behind the scenes, when they aren't in the classroom, it's whats happening for them on the email, phone calls and hui.
How can leaders tap into and develop recognition of their emotional state?
Do they believe that emotions matter and is this having am impact on those around us? If they do, are they motivated to develop these skills?
Emotions are going to come back to bite you if you are not dealing with them. It takes a bite out of well-being when you are in a state of emotional labour. The more we deal with them and work with them, makes us more effective in life.
We have to look at our inner space, not just our day-to-day outer space, not many people want to go there. It's a matter of discipline and making sure that you do this daily or many times a day. It's surprising when people start to check in on themselves, the more you do it the more intune you become with yourself. Explore how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way, and do it with safe people.
We are doing well teaching this to the children, but as adults we don't tend to do this. It's about working and developing our own skills to help the others around us. Unless we are practicing we can't make the most of our own emotional intelligence. Find out what works and what doesn't work, do I need to make changes?
Need to take the knowledge and learning from the coach, we need to experiment with how we deal with emotions.
The more authentic you are as a leader, you are more able to move forward with the agenda that you have. It's about having trust in the leader. It's about the psychological safe and leaders like that can ask people to dream with them. It's about shifting the entire culture in a positive directions, towards that psychological safety.
We need to walk into school each day as our 'best self' putting other things that worry us behind us.
Social awareness is about empathy, but as a leader you need to have the hand on the door knob moment, to pause and bring to mind who I want to be that day. I need to learn to control my big emotion and be aware of them and deal with that later.
Section 3: Identifying strengths and areas for development
Self-review can take many forms and be carried out in a number of ways, but the underlying principles of effective self-review require it to be:
- Purposeful – leading to action for improvement
- Meaningful – not reviewing for reviewing’s sake
- Manageable – realistic in terms of time and human and financial resources
- Systematic – programmed so it doesn’t get overlooked
- Reliable – based on relevant and valid evidence
- Collaborative – involving key stakeholders
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